Customs, norms and good behavior!

You have finally arrived Russia for business or pleasure, now let us talk about some fundamental customs and norms to take into account so that you don’t embarrass yourself to say the least. Remember that only the first impression counts, there are no second chances.

Let us go over those little details that can make a huge difference in how people perceive you so that you can become part of the crowd, especially if you have come to meet your Sweetheart/Romeo and she has invited you to her house for dinner to introduce you to her family.

1 - Personal space

As you may be familiar especially if you come from a Latin-American country, Italy, Spain, we tend to be very warm and open people in general, especially when we meet someone for the first time in the casual mode we tend to hug and kiss on the cheek showing our warmness and emotion about meeting this new person, but in Russia personal space is very much taken to heart, meaning that the hug and kiss in the first introduction can be seen awkward, and for the girls if a foreigner approaches to kiss on the cheek the very first time you meet her, this greatly reduces your chances of coming close to her again especially if you like her and would like to pursue something more than friendship. When introduced to new friends or acquaintances for the first time keep it cool and clean, a firm handshake for men and a soft handshake for the ladies with open eyes and a brief smirk is all you need to do, you will be looked at with appreciation and respect and you will open the door to gain this person’s trust. Do not kiss the girls on the cheek when introduced, that will not only make her feel confused but she will also put her shields up because you are invading her personal space. Remember, if you extend your arm horizontally and make a circle, that is your personal space and our human nature does not like when that space is invaded by a stranger or even by someone we know but is not very close to us. Throughout history Russian people have had their fare share of deceit and betrayal, so it is almost genetically embedded in their psyche to not open themselves to strangers, Russian people in other countries are perceived as cold which is the total opposite, once you become part of a circle of friends you will discover how warm hearted and hospitable Russian people really are, one thing though they are very direct, no beating around the bush, so if you need to say something choose the right words and say it openly and honestly, people will appreciate you for that. So remember, keep it cool and clean and you will be on your way to making lots of new good friends!

2 - When visiting a Russian home be a good guest

So you got past the introduction part very well and now your new friends have invited you to their summer home or Dacha for a BBQ or to their cool apartment or house in the city for a nice family dinner.

The first thing you want to do is to get a humble but nice gift to bring to the occasion, this will not only make you look good but it will hint your friends that you are doing your homework to quickly integrate to the Russian customs and way of life even if you are there for a short time, your friends will really appreciate that and you will be regarded as a cultivated person with good taste and character; A decent bottle of wine, a bouquet of flowers, chocolates, a bottle of good vodka, a deli tray, one or a combination of the mentioned items depending on the number of people you think will be attending will be a nice touch and will push you up a notch in the trust meter.

3 - Take your shoes off

The first thing you must always do when entering a Russian home is remove your shoes, this is a strong custom in Russia mainly because of cleanliness and hygiene, your host will gladly provide you with a pair of indoor flip flops, if not just walk in wearing your socks, do not feel strange or embarrassed at all.

4 - Do not take the last shirt.

It is very customary in Russia for your host to offer something for you to take when you are ready to leave, please kindly deny to take it, especially if it is a house decoration item or something you consider expensive or special do not take it, this will not be considered rude on your part so do not worry, if the host insists more than three or four times as you are walking out then you might take it considering it is not something expensive from the house, a picture book of Moscow or something similar would be ok, remember use good common sense and criteria.

5 - No politics, no whistling

Do not bring politics into the conversation, sometimes it is easy to get into politics when having a good chat with new friends because we are curious to hear their opinions about their government and institutions for us to make a comparison to those in our country, but in Russia politics is not welcome in the conversation, Russian people do not like to speak openly about their government because of ingrained feelings of fear due to how things used to be in the past and still may be today for them, this subject will make your hosts feel uncomfortable and will cause certain tension In the atmosphere, it all goes back to trust, if you just met them and freshly arrived in Russia as a tourist or expat, why would you be so interested in their politics and institutions, in their mindset only spies and foes talk about that, on the other hand if you praise their system and way of life in general this will be seen as a good gesture, but do not over do it and never talk negatively about the police or immigration even if you have had an incident or an encounter, remember, this is their laws, their country, learn and appreciate.

As for whistling, it is a Russian belief that it drives wealth and prosperity away, because when you whistle you blow your breath out, so it is like if you were blowing away all your good wishes and thoughts and it is not a cool thing to do indoors, just don’t do it.

6 - Behave, behave, behave

The last thing we want to do in a foreign country is to embarrass ourselves in any way especially in public right?

Practicing common sense and good manners go a long way. Do not do in Russia the things you would not do back home, or the opposite depending on your character and upbringing, something you may consider to not be a big deal in your country can get you into considerable to serious trouble in Russia and not to exaggerate but you could even face deportation.

• Do not heed the call of nature on the street after you step out of the club, I know, you had the last drink on the way out and forgot to go drain the tank, but please find a restroom nearby, if you are caught by the police you can face a fine and a ride to the police station which is a place you would not want to be in anywhere.

• Do not over do it in the club.  So you just fell in love with the cute girl across the bar because she stands out in her crowd of friends and she glances at you flirtingly, that does not mean she is in love with you or that she wants to go home with you. If you are with some Russian friends which is more than likely the case just hint them that you like the girl and they may be able to guide you and make sure she is open season before you make a blunder. In Russia girls usually hang in a crowd and guys do the same, so it is safe to say that 80% of those girlfriends have a boyfriend and if she is a beauty goddess which most of them are, then more than likely her boyfriend is a guy you don’t want to bump heads with and that guy is surely not there alone, I don’t think I have much more to lay out at this point, I think you figured it out. Trust me from personal experience, if a girl really likes you and is single she will probably do more than glance at you to get your attention, so just be yourself, be cool and enjoy the night, it may bring you a good surprise.

• Do not exceed your limits of alcohol. I know I know, you are super excited to see lots of new different faces and places and are having the best time of your life partying and doing cool activities which most times will end up in having a few drinks to relax, remember that latitude changes mess with how our system reacts to alcohol, so watch your intake and if you feel that your meter is going into the red it is time to stop, be honest with your friends and just stop, they will appreciate that much more than having to drive you to the hospital or putting out the fire if you start to be obnoxious and crazy with others around you and that will possibly kill your chances of them hanging out with you again.